Same Sensory System, Different Needs
One person walks into a concert and thinks: “Turn it up!”
Another person walks into the exact same concert and immediately reaches for their headphones.
One child could swing for an hour. Another won't go near the swing.
One person loves strong flavours, crunchy foods and extra hot sauce. Another notices the tiniest change in the texture of their favourite food.
Same world. Same senses. Very different experiences.
That's because sensory input isn't experienced the same way by every nervous system.
A Quick Sensory Refresher
Our brains are constantly receiving information from our sensory systems. We hear sounds. See light and movement. Feel textures and pressure. Taste and smell. Notice movement, body position and signals from inside our bodies.
Then our nervous system has to decide what to do with all of that information.
For some people, certain sensory information may not feel strong enough. Their body may look for more. For others, the same kind of input can feel extremely intense. Their body may try to get less.
This is where the terms sensory seeking and sensory avoiding can help us understand what we are seeing.
What Is Sensory Seeking?
A sensory seeker may look for extra sensory input because their nervous system enjoys it, needs stronger information or finds it regulating.
This might look like: Constant movement. Touching everything. Chewing. Humming or making noises. Crashing into cushions. Seeking tight hugs. Spinning. Jumping. Smelling objects. Loving strong flavours. Playing with messy textures. Turning music up.
From the outside, someone might say: “Why do they keep doing that?”
But their nervous system may simply be saying: “More, please.”
What Is Sensory Avoiding?
A sensory avoider may experience certain sensory information very strongly and try to reduce or escape it.
This might look like: Covering ears. Avoiding crowds. Refusing certain clothing. Disliking messy hands. Avoiding swings or heights. Becoming distressed by strong smells. Preferring dimmer lighting. Eating a limited range of textures. Leaving noisy spaces.
Someone watching might think: “It's not even that loud.” And maybe it isn't — to your nervous system. But sensory experiences are personal. If it feels overwhelming to their body, then their experience is real.
You Can Be BOTH
This is one of the biggest misconceptions about sensory needs. A person isn't necessarily either a sensory seeker or a sensory avoider. They can be both.
Someone might seek movement but avoid sound. They may love deep pressure but dislike light touch. They might enjoy bright colours but become overwhelmed by strong smells. They may love crunchy foods but refuse anything mushy.
And it can get even more interesting: the same person can seek and avoid input within the same sensory system. Maybe they love their own loud music but can't tolerate the unpredictable noise of a crowded restaurant. Maybe they love being squeezed tightly in a blanket but dislike someone lightly brushing against their arm.
Context matters.
Even the Same Person Can Change
Sensory needs aren't always identical from one day to the next. Think about yourself.
Music that feels great while you're driving on a Saturday afternoon might feel unbearable when you have a headache. A busy restaurant might be fun when you're rested and excited to see friends. The same restaurant after a stressful ten-hour day might feel like entirely too much.
Our nervous systems are affected by sleep, stress, hunger, illness, emotions, environment and how much sensory information we've already processed.
So when someone tolerated something yesterday but struggles with it today, it doesn't automatically mean they're being inconsistent. Their nervous system may simply have a different capacity today.
“But They Were Fine With It Last Time”
This sentence comes up a lot.
They wore those socks yesterday. They went to the birthday party last month. They ate that food last week. They used the hand dryer before.
All of that can be true. And today can still be different.
Imagine your sensory tolerance like the volume on a speaker. Some days there's room to turn things up. Other days the volume is already near maximum before anything else happens. Adding one more sound, texture, demand or unexpected change might be enough to push the system past what it can comfortably manage.
Seeking Doesn't Always Mean Enjoying
Sometimes a person repeatedly seeks an input because their body is trying to regulate, not simply because the activity is fun.
The student constantly getting out of their chair may need movement. The person chewing on their sleeve may be looking for oral input. The child crashing into the couch may be seeking proprioceptive feedback.
Instead of seeing only the behaviour, sensory understanding helps us ask: “What might their body be trying to get?”
That question gives us much more useful information than simply saying, “Stop.”
Avoiding Isn't Being Difficult
The same is true for sensory avoidance.
Covering ears isn't rude. Refusing a particular texture isn't automatically stubbornness. Stepping away from a crowded space isn't necessarily antisocial. Not wanting to be touched isn't rejection.
Sometimes avoidance is the nervous system protecting itself from input that feels too intense. That doesn't mean we never help people gradually build skills or navigate challenging environments. It means we start from a place of understanding rather than judgement.
What Support Can Look Like
There's no universal sensory toolkit because there is no universal nervous system.
For someone seeking input, support might include movement, heavy work, tactile activities, appropriate chewing options or access to fidgets. For someone avoiding input, support might include headphones, quieter spaces, clothing choices, predictable routines, reduced lighting or opportunities to step away.
But the most important part isn't the sensory product. It's paying attention to the person.
What helps them participate? What seems to overwhelm them? What do they naturally seek out? What do they consistently avoid? Those observations can tell us a lot.
Different Doesn't Mean Wrong
One person needs quiet to concentrate. Another needs background noise. One person needs to move. Another needs stillness. One loves a bear hug. Another would really prefer you didn't touch them.
Neither nervous system is doing sensory processing the right way. They're simply doing it differently.
At Inclusive Play Co., that's one of the biggest things we want people to understand. Sensory support isn't about making everyone comfortable with exactly the same environment. It's about recognizing that different bodies may need different things to feel safe, regulated and able to participate.
So the next time someone covers their ears, spins in circles, refuses a texture, chews on something, leaves a noisy room or asks for another big squeeze, try replacing:
“Why are they doing that?”
with:
“What might their nervous system need?”
Sometimes that little bit of curiosity changes everything.
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